Saturday, July 31

Self-expectations: The Good, The Bad, and The Impossible...


Typically, having high self-expectations is seen as a positive character trait. It's admirable to set the bar high and strive to maintain a standard that reflects your aspirations in life; but sometimes we can create unwanted anxiety when we set the bar higher than we can realistically reach.

While I'm all for setting goals, it's important to keep in mind the delicate balance between not enough and too much. Most of us want to be the best we can be, myself included, and because of this I've pursued a life/career based on positivity and overcoming adversity.

Don't Just Survive...Thrive! is my motto!

But this has, from time to time, caused me to put expectations on myself to remain positive all the time.
While I enjoy being Little Miss Sunshine most days, I am no Pollyanna 24/7...no one is, and if they are, something's wrong. Even those in the most ideal and pleasant circumstances, with seemingly nary a trouble in the world and loads of money in the bank will get discouraged from time to time, for any variety of reasons. It's called "being human."
But because of the expectations I'd self-imposed (and perceived others had of me) I felt as if I were letting the world down if I had an off day. It was time to readjust what I was expecting from myself.

I know we've all heard the sayings like "Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars." (Les Brown) -- I've actually used that quote numerous times to try and motivate myself or others, but consistently setting unachievable expectations, only to miss the mark can lead to low self-esteem and feelings of failure. These emotions bring about nothing good. When we feel worthless, we're more likely to just give up completely before trying again.

Another perfect example was when I got it in my head that I was going to hit the gym every single day, 7 days a week. Now this may be an entirely attainable goal for some, but for many reasons it's just not something that's going to happen in my life. Week after week I "let myself down" because I only made it to the gym between 3-5 times, doing 1/2 hour of cardio and 1 hour of weight training. Did I forget that a little over 2 years ago I never went to the gym? Apparently so. Had I set a more reasonable goal, rather than set the extreme (for me) goal of 7 days a week, I'd have met and probably surpassed my expectations of myself, and felt good. Instead, I repeatedly beat myself up for missing the mark I'd set way too high in the first place.

I'm not saying we should set the bar low. Always set them high enough to challenge yourself, but recognize that delicate tipping point between high and unreasonable.
Goals are simply tools to focus your energy in positive directions; these can be changed as your priorities change, new ones added, and others dropped. As long as you're moving forward, you're going in the right direction.

Tuesday, July 27

Hello Blogger Friends!


Just wanted to send out a quick hello, since I usually don't let this many days go between posts. The non-profit organization I'm involved with has been moving forward, full steam ahead, so I've been spending my writing time courting local celebrities to come and play in an exhibition basketball game for our big kick-off event. Did I mention that I've been busy at this WHILE making sure I meet looming deadlines? Anyway...next week I should have more time to ramble. Haha! Hope everyone is well. Have a lovely week!

Warmest Regards!

Michele

Thursday, July 22

Blooming


The reality of life is that we all start from different places, travel at different paces, and have different destinations. Despite these facts, many people constantly try to compare themselves to others in regards to where they are in their own lives.

Trying to measure ourselves up to others is like comparing the beauty of a daffodil to a daisy. Who's to say which bloom is more appealing? Better to celebrate the individual beauty of each one, and just be thankful they bloomed.

It's quite common for people to hit middle-age and begin reflecting on their lives, wishing they'd gone down roads that, at the time, seemed too bumpy to maneuver instead of opting for the shortcut. Sadly, many then feel it's too late to try again, and instead spend years being frustrated, disappointed, and resentful.
One of my favorite quotes for late bloomers is this: "There is an immeasurable distance between late and too late."

If you're breathing, it's not too late.

So what if you didn't go to college and get a fancy degree? So what if you've never worked outside the home? So what if you've had a troubled upbringing that never encouraged success?

You can bloom where you're planted.

Better to be the rogue flower bursting forth in the desert, than a tulip among a field of hundreds of thousands just alike- where it's difficult to be seen as an individual, and all the subtle nuances that create your own unique beauty get lost among the many.

Monday, July 19

A New Perspective


Recently the city I live in expanded its roadways due to the ever-growing influx of tourists. One new road includes a very grand looking bridge that ends at Main St. and Highway 17 in North Myrtle Beach - the primary entryway into the heart of town.
Prior to this, the only way in came from either North or South on 17; this bridge comes to the intersection from the West.

It rises over the Intracoastal Waterway, cresting at about 60 feet above the water, and then slopes gently back down until you're approaching the intersection at close to sea-level. Driving this way for the first time, at the descent, I looked and wondered where the heck this bridge had led me, then realized with surprise that it was the intersection I'd driven through hundreds, if not thousands of times, but because of the new perspective, it looked completely different...and oddly, so much fresher. I laughed at myself and chalked my temporary feeling of being lost up to the fact that I am well-known for having a horrible sense of direction.

It was not long at all before I found out it wasn't just me. Seems everyone I talked to about the new bridge had the same moment of "where the heck?" - only to realize where they were.

It's all about perspective.

Today I read a blog written by my amazing niece, (is that how I refer to my nephew's wife?) where she questioned some things about herself. It perplexed me because honestly, from my perspective she's one of the most together, intelligent, beautiful (physically and spiritually) people I am proud to call "family."

I think many of us need to step outside of ourselves occasionally, and try as best we can to see not only who we are, but our problems, from a fresh perspective -- a new angle. People tend to see their own problems through a magnifying glass, but if we pan out and look at the big picture, there's a good chance we'll not only see more of how we got where we are, but also the pathway out. Another benefit of looking at the big picture? You give yourself the opportunity to look past what's gone wrong, and zoom in on what's going right. Too often we focus (with that dang magnifying glass again) on the negatives, so they become bigger and bigger, until they're obstructing our vision of all the good things jumping up and down, saying, "Look at us! Look at us!"

My sister was just telling me the other day how we, as individuals, look at everything we see through a lens that has been carved by our life experiences. I found this concept fascinating, and of course it brought me back to this idea on perspective I'd been tossing around since the bridge incident. It drove home in me, even more, how important it can be to get a fresh perspective from time to time.

Also, when you see someone else struggling, offer them your "lens." Let them know the positive things that can be seen in their lives from your perspective. Sometimes a little encouragement is all someone needs.

I challenge you to look at either a problem you've been facing, or a negative feeling you have about yourself, or someone in your life, from a fresh perspective. Change angles and look again. I bet it will surprise you how much fresher it looks this way.

Click here to visit Kelly's (my niece) blog "Half Jewish, fully worried"

Wednesday, July 14

A Little Love Story... ♥



*Please forgive me for the lack of proper grammar or editing on this post...it is just me talking as if you were in my living room here.*

A lot of people ask me about this, so I thought I'd share it here.

Back in 1997, I was a divorced mom to my then 6 year old son, and at that point, had been in a wheelchair for 10 years. I worked for a company called Atlis Publishing -- no, not Atlas, Atlis, editing medical journals. Yes, it was a thrill a minute. (Not really.)

The last thing on my mind was a relationship.

Back then, everyone was using America Online for social networking, and I don't even think the phrase "social networking" was in use. Regardless, I had the standard profile, which listed my profession as "Editor" and would receive the occasional question about writing, to which I'd reply that I edited medical journals and was probably not the kind of "Editor" they were seeking. One such inquiry came from a guy who asked if I would just look over a little of the story he'd written, and if nothing else, give him my opinion as a reader. Since I was a voracious reader, I agreed.

It was really good and left me wanting to know what had happened to the main character, "Fully Wexler." In volleying back and forth over his story, I found out he lived in Myrtle Beach, SC, a place I'd enjoyed visiting several times since I have lots of family in the Carolinas. We ended up chatting online quite a bit, and at one point he sent me a funny photo of a recent sailing trip he'd been on. It was a ragtag group of guys on a boat, one of which was him, and I got a kick out of seeing it, and returned a photo of myself and my cousin on a recent trip to Deep Creek Lake, MD. I captioned the photo "Not bad for a crip chick, huh!" Since I was sure we'd discussed my disability briefly at some point and I tend to laugh, rather than cry, at some of the more tragic things in my life.
He replied, "What's that supposed to mean?" Then I put 2+2 together (I was actually reclining in a lounge chair in the photo, so no wheelchair!) and realized I hadn't talked about being disabled! Then I wondered why it mattered, or why I should disclose something so personal to a "stranger" -- but by then, was he still a "stranger"? Anyway, so I just went ahead and told him what had happened and that I'd been in a wheelchair ever since. He expressed that he was very sorry I'd had to go through something so difficult, then we moved on to another topic, and it wasn't brought up again.
Around Super Bowl time, he said he'd be in the Washington, DC area for a Super Bowl Party Weekend with some people he'd attended college with, and asked if I would like to finally meet face to face and have lunch. I agreed, but was a little hesitant to meet someone from the internet...it was all so new to me at the time. I told my sister all I knew about him, and when/where we were going to have lunch, just in case.
Then the day arrived, and when my doorbell rang, I went to it and before opening the door, jokingly asked, "Should I let you in? You don't have a gun, do you?" He laughed, and I opened the door, and at that moment, I literally felt my face burning with redness...I was BLUSHING! I offered him a seat, and then we just kind of sat there, staring at each other. It was so weird. *I am laughing while recounting this!*
To break the awkwardness, I asked him to come look at something on my computer in the other room, he pulled up a chair to my desk, and I was next to him, and then HE KISSED ME and it was like this huge EUREKA moment. It all suddenly hit me that I'd been falling in love with him all this time, but denying it, and apparently the feelings were mutual. I will say that a kiss was all that happened that day, as he is the most perfect gentleman in all the universe, but we've been "an item" ever since. I found out he'd researched all he could about spinal cord injury right after he found out I was disabled, because even though neither of us had expressed anything romantic, he'd already had a crush on me and wanted to find out all he may be getting into, falling for someone with my condition. I found this so touching, as I had been married to a man before, who met me after my accident and yet hardly ever asked me anything about being disabled.
We lived 7 hours driving time apart, so it wasn't always easy, but he drove to see me every chance he got. Even one time, around my 30th birthday, when my washing machine broke, he drove the 7 hours to fix it for me.
When he found out I hadn't been swimming since before my accident, and that I was now deathly afraid to, he took me to the pool, and picked me up, then slowly got in, holding me the entire time. He walked around, keeping me in his arms, while I became accustomed to how it all felt. Little by little, one trip to the pool at a time, he helped me shed my fears, and finally, I was SWIMMING and he was genuinely happy for me. He'd given me so much already, and now he'd given me back something I'd missed a lot.
This has been his way from the beginning, and still to this day. One by one, he gently helps me overcome my fears, never making me feel like a loser, or a scared baby; simply like someone who's being held up by love. He makes sure I know he's there to support me, while encouraging me to find my freedoms, defeat my demons, and live life to the fullest. There's so much more, but it's late, and I'm sleepy. Suffice to say, he and I are now living our "happily ever after."

Monday, July 12

21 Days to Positivity



As is often the case with the internet, you read something, and that something leads you to another something, and so on...
Being the "information addict" that I am, this happens to me daily! Seriously, I think I'm one of the few people on the planet who absolutely adores doing research for any and every project, more than any other part of the process.

Today I was reading a blog post about being judgmental. It was on Gretchin Rubin's website, which I highly recommend to everyone. While reading, I saw a post from a woman who'd mentioned a 21 day "fast" from any negative speaking at all. I was intrigued. As anyone who's read my blog since the beginning, you know I had a childhood that was challenging, and ultimately left me with lots of insecurities to overcome and bad habits to break. One of those habits is speaking negatively about myself. I've made an effort recently to at least accept compliments graciously, instead of staring at the person as if they're out of their mind for saying something nice about me, followed by laughingly pointing out how wrong they are.

Anyway, I'm getting off course here.

I googled the pertinent words and sure enough, lots of folks have stepped up to the challenge and reported back some amazing results! This is right up my "be the best you can be" alley, so I'm taking the plunge publically, here on my blog so I have all of you wonderful people to be accountable to, and I hope some of you will come along for the ride.

The premise is simple: You cannot utter any negative language or complaints at all for 21 days. No matter what happens to you, no matter what other people say or do to you, you are not allowed to speak any negative words during those 21 days. That means self-talk, as well as what you say to others. If you catch yourself complaining or saying something negative, start over. Along the way, write down any changes you're experiencing that you feel are related to this project. Feel free to share them on my "Fake It Til You Make It" facebook wall, so we can discuss them, and compare notes. Here's a link.

If you want to join me in a 21 day fast from speaking negatively, please let me know in the comments section. I would love the company! Also, if you know of someone you think would enjoy this, or benefit from it, please send them here and we can get a big group going.
When you complete your 21 days, I will send you a beautiful, personalized "Certificate of Happiness" that can be framed and kept as a reminder to always do your best to avoid negative speaking.

Sunday, July 11

Because I know so many without jobs at the moment...


The other day I was reading about a man named Edwin C. Barnes. He was born in 1876 in Wisconsin, not to a wealthy or famous family. As a matter of fact, he was often referred to as a "tramp," (what we might call a "bum" these days) but Barnes had a big desire, and the determination to turn that desire into reality. He’d read about the things Thomas Edison was doing, and decided, uncompromisingly, that his future included working alongside the great inventor.

Instead of letting the obstacles between where he was and where he wanted to be get in his way, he went around them. He disregarded the fact that he had no money to take a train to Orange, NJ where Edison was, instead he rode on a freight car, dropping from the moving train when passing through the town. Neither did Barnes let the fact that he did not know Mr. Edison hold him back. He set his sights on what he wanted, and went forward with all intentions of attaining it. When he arrived in NJ, he went to Edison’s office, knocked on the door, and informed him he was there to be his associate, and that he was willing to start at the bottom and work his way up. His determination paid off. He got a job scrubbing floors and within 5 years had worked his way up, becoming a partner of Thomas Edison, and even a close friend over the long term. When Mr. Barnes passed away in 1952 in Bradenton, FL, he was a very wealthy man.

We can learn a few important lessons from the life of Edwin C. Barnes:

1. Think Big! Don’t hem and haw, always doubting or making excuses why you can’t do something. Decide what you want, make a plan, then set out to achieve your goal.

2. Step out in faith. Trust there will be pavement under each footfall and forge your own path.

3. Don’t let circumstances and details hold you back.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Be bold in all your endeavors.

4. No job is too small. Mr. Barnes started scrubbing floors. Instead of seeing it as “beneath” him, he saw it as a stepping stone to his ultimate goal.

So often in life we see stumbling blocks instead of stepping stones, and we tend to stay within our own self-imposed boundaries. The secret that the successful have found out, is that those amazing opportunities; those ‘once in a lifetime’ chances, are almost always found outside of our comfort zones. Can it be daunting to step out of bounds, leaving the safety of the familiar for the unknown? Absolutely. The potential rewards, however, are limitless once we stop limiting ourselves.

Friday, July 9

I'm my own what?



-You Are Your Own Business Card-

The first time I read this line, it was one of those light bulb moments! Quite often, in one way or another, most of us have to market ourselves; to clients, to bosses, to prospective employers, etc...even if we're fortunate enough to not have to actively sell our skills, we're advertising what we're about with each interaction, no matter how insignificant it may be.

It always amazes me when I witness someone screaming obscenities and flipping the bird in traffic, and then see a bumper sticker on their car advertising their Christianity. Not exactly the person I'd want teaching my kid in Sunday School.

Now, don't get me wrong, I realize we're all human and none of us are perfect. I'm the first to point out my flaws to anyone within ear shot. The occasional four letter word escapes my lips, and we won't even talk about the things I want to say sometimes, but thankfully self-control wins out and I bite my tongue.

In my opinion, we need to have absolute boundaries for how we behave in regards to common decency and politeness. Just look around on any given day and you'll see society has become sadly lax in regards to people respecting one another and practicing good manners. Philosopher Eric Hoffer said it so eloquently: "Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength."

Being a person who has to sell myself as a public speaker, a mentor, and an active member of my community, it's important to be on my best behavior every day; after all, we never know who we're interacting with, and when we may encounter them again in a more personal, or business setting. Who'd want to ask me to go encourage a person in the hospital if I went about with a scowl on my face all the time? How many invitations to give motivational talks do you think I'd get if I was overheard dropping "F" bombs while complaining about long lines in the grocery store, or seen giving the finger to tourists in traffic jams?

Shouldn't we strive to be the best we can be, even when no one is looking?
After all, there is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience, and no face more beautiful than one that wears a smile.

What does your 'business card' (your countenance, your behavior) say about you?

I'd love to read your thoughts and/or experiences, either good or bad, on this subject.

Five Question Friday Blog Hop!

Five Question Friday:

Thanks to the ladies who came up with these great questions!

1. What is one food you could eat everyday?
In a perfect world where sugar and fat caused eternal youth and beauty; cupcakes.

2. Are you working in the career you thought you would be when you were 18?
Ah, no, which is a good thing since I was working on a career in being dead at that age.

3. What is something that you wish you would have done when you were younger and you didn't?
Met my husband and had a Duggar-like brood of kids!

4. What color are your kitchen walls?
1/2 off white *yawn* and 1/2 horrifyingly hideous blue pineapple wallpaper -- yeah, we bought a "fixer-upper" house and haven't yet "fixer-upped."

5. Do you remember what your very first favorite song was?
Yes! Amazingly I do! I played it on the jukebox in the "kid's room" at the Elks Lodge on Saturday nights, while my folks were in the "lounge." It was 1976, and the song was Frankie Valli "Oh What A Night"

Thursday, July 8

~Detangling~


I got a haircut yesterday. My hair had grown past my shoulders and since it's super baby fine, thin, and plagued by random waves that have no rhythm or flow to them, it was time to go a little shorter despite my husbands protests. It amazes me that a lot of men say they like long hair, even if that long hair looks like crap.

As an adult, I ran into a woman (on a good hair day) who'd lived next door to me when I was a little girl. She marveled at how smooth and shiny my hair was (as a child, my hair was a disaster) and then went on to remind me of the times she sat me down on our front stoop in Landover Hills and picked everything out of my hair from bubble gum and candy, to peanut butter and jelly, all while I protested loudly. I mean, what's a little food in the hair when there's roller skating to be done in the abandoned parking lot across from our duplex?

This little problem continued on after we moved from that neighborhood, and as I grew, so did the snarls. I would get a knot in the back near the neckline, and in order to avoid the pain of detangling, would smooth the top layer of my hair over it- every day. Before long, the snarl inevitably grew into a huge, matted clump that, despite my best efforts at concealing, made me look as if I had some strange tumor growing back there. Enter the detangler! My dad would sit me down in the family room with this frightening comb-like contraption that plugged into the wall and "gently" (according to the packaging) ripped worked the tangles from your hair. This was usually about a 30-45 minute procedure filled with tears from me, and yelling from my dad about how if I hadn't waited until it got so bad it wouldn't hurt so much, and he was right.

Ultimately, when the comb was unplugged and a mass of knotted snarls lay on the floor next to my dad, my hair was once again, smooth, silky, and tangle-free.

Wouldn't it just be easier if we worked out our knots in life before they grew to epic proportions, instead of waiting until they required dragging others in, and a long and painful production to get them straightened out?

One of the things I've added to my self-improvement list this year is to follow the advice of Barney Fife and be an active 'bud-nipper." If you're too young to know who or what I'm talking about, click here.

Sometimes I'm amazed at how long it took me to figure out that problems don't go away when you ignore them, quite the contrary.
Ah well - better to bloom late than never to bloom at all.


NIP IT!

Wednesday, July 7

Breaking Cycles



As I posted before, over the past year I've been writing a book about staying positive in the face of adversity. Of course when one undertakes something like this, copious amounts of soul-searching is a part of the deal, whether we want it or not.

In light of things that happened with my parents (particularly my mom) when I was so young, I've often questioned whether she (and my Dad) loved me or not. Doesn't everyone at some point wonder this?

Are there people who've never, not even for a second, questioned the love of their mother or father?

Despite what I consider being rejected twice in my life by my mom, once at 12, and then again at 19, I must give her credit for all of the good things, too. From the time I was about 27 until she died when I was 35, she told me time and time again how sorry she was for leaving me behind as a child, and really tried to be the best mom she could. Now that I've been a mother for 19 years, I have conflicting emotions about it all. On one hand, I understand more what it is to struggle in one's own mind and make bad decisions that affect the people that love you; but on the other, I still can't grasp how she left me behind.
I had a 1st marriage that failed, but not ever for one split second did I consider leaving my son behind. I'd rather cut off my arms than do that, yet I can see where it all began because she was also abandoned as a child.

Probably until I was well into my 30's I worried about "becoming my mother." We hear that sort of stuff a lot; following in our parent's footsteps being inevitable and all that. I've even been accused of dwelling too much on the past, but my defense is:
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." ~George Santayana
What I've learned by pondering the past is to find the good things, embrace and emulate them, and recognize the bad so they don't become holes that wait to swallow you up.

I've come to the conclusion that I probably would have forgiven my mom for almost anything, because her self-loathing was evident to anyone who ever met her, and I truly believe that despite how much she hurt me, it could never measure up to how much she hurt herself. In the end, she destroyed herself from a combination of immense sadness, guilt, and desperation. I wish I'd been able to help her. God knows I tried, as did my sister and a few others, but the damage that set things in motion had been done long ago. What I could do was break the cycle. This blog, my book, my speaking; it's all a part of that process.

I hope I don't come across as being judgmental of my mom. I'd be lying if I said I've never felt angry towards her, but when all was said and done, I love/loved her deeply, and I was there with my head on her chest until her very last heartbeat.

God it's hard to type that.

I wanted her to know I was there, and for her to feel my love until the very end. I hope she knows I stayed. She was so fragile. I think I was always the strong one, and on some level she knew it, and she knew I'd be ok.


Mom, 40 years old


Mom & Grandma


Mom & her 2nd husband, whom some claim is my biological father, but that's another blog...

Monday, July 5

Things I've Learned From My Grandma


My Grandma has been on my mind a lot lately. She's always been my role model of what a strong woman should be, having made a successful life for herself with nothing more than a 3rd grade education, a lot of determination, and good old-fashioned hard work.

Born in 'nineteen and twenty three' (the way she says it) - in Morehead City, NC, we used to have a joke in our family that Grandma would outlive us all, with the way she never seemed to tire, and could run circles around people half her age (including her younger boyfriend.) But she's slowed down quite a bit in the last few years, and it's difficult to see. She turned 87 this year.

So today I want to just list a few things I've learned from her, and maybe you can share something you learned from your amazing Grandma, too.

1. You're never too old to don a teeny bikini.
About 15 years ago, Grandma went on a diet and lost some extra pounds that she'd picked up from eating her delicious Magic Cookie Bars and Baked Ziti. Excited with her new figure, she said she wanted to get herself a bathing suit, so just for fun, I brought over a couple that had been collecting dust in my dresser since pre-pregnancy days. She chose the teeniest, hot pink bikini with silver accents, went back into her bedroom, then emerged in all her 72 year old glory wearing nothing but that swimsuit and white ankle socks!

2. You can be tough on the inside and yet soft on the outside.
Grandma lived through the Depression, came from a family of 9 children with very little money, lost her first husband when my Mom was only 2 years old, and drove a school bus for 23 years; so she's no shrinking violet, but despite how strong and hard-working she is, she's always taken the time for hugs, kisses, baking cookies, or just having a talk.

Here's a photo of my Mom and my Grandma:


3. Don't leave the house without at least a little lipstick. (OK, I prefer lip gloss, but you know what I mean.)
Her favorite color is pink. That should pretty much explain it.

4. A smile makes wrinkles disappear.
Seriously, my Grandma has the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen, and when she smiles, they light up and the lines fade away into the background.

Here's a picture of her and my son taken last summer:

Tell me something about your awesome Grandma! ♥

Thursday, July 1

Just accept Murphy's Law


While holding down the button that puts the top of my convertible up and down, I realized that the day the motor controlling it decides to give out, I'll be in the car, with the top down, in a place with no cover to drive under, in a flash-flood inducing rainstorm. It's just the way life is. I've already mentally prepared myself for it, and the best I can hope for is to be wearing waterproof mascara that day.

Murphy's Law = "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." But you know what? I laugh at Murphy's Law because I know something that not a lot of people know. Not only was Edward A. Murphy, Jr. a real person, but despite everything apparently going wrong for him all the time, he was a successful man! Imagine that - Mr. Gloom and Doom did well for himself!

Actually, I doubt he was gloomy at all, but I would assume he was incredibly hopeful since he was an aeronautical engineer who's primary job was to create new technology, then test it out to see how well it worked (or not.) Most likely he was optimistic about his creations being successful, but realistic in the fact that he knew not all would go as planned each time.

Things will never go the way we planned 100% of the time, and if you find everything is suddenly going exactly right, all the time, I'd start looking under the bed and over my shoulder!
The important thing is not to let unexpected setbacks in life drag us down. The most resilient people are the most successful, since they never give up.
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
~Helen Keller

I found this great little poem about not quitting, and liked it so much that I wanted to share it with everyone - so here it is:

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won if he'd stuck it out.
Don't give up, though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are -
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

Author Unknown