Friday, June 18

One of those days...

People often ask me what my secret is. They want to know how I continue smiling and being upbeat and positive, full of hope, when so much has gone wrong in my life. Most days I'm just so thankful to be here, experiencing this beautifully amazing ride we call life, that I can barely contain myself from gushing all the ways I find joy and enthusiasm for living.

Then there are days like today; days that challenge me to put my money where my mouth is.

As many of you know, after spending the last 23 years in a wheelchair in amazingly good health considering all that could have gone wrong, I was t-boned (for lack of a better term) on March 15th while driving home from the gym, by a woman who ran a red light.
This shook my resolve, but thankfully, only briefly, then I was back on course and setting my sights on the light at the end of that dark tunnel.

Today's challenge began with a letter from my attorney, stating that despite many attempts to rework the numbers, there just will not be enough money to cover my bills, much less leave me anything for my pain and suffering.

I was sitting there reading this, trying to find a way to wrap my brain around the fact that a woman was texting on her phone, ran a red light, almost killed me, caused me to have to undergo blood transfusions, surgery, and months of recovery, to end up with a leg that, although thankfully healed, will never be the same, and in the doctors own words, will cause pain the rest of my life. I'm trying to digest the 'hows' and 'whys' -- It thought I did all the right things.

I had/have full coverage auto insurance with extra coverage for underinsured motorists, which she was.
I have health insurance, albeit, nothing fancy, but something nonetheless.
There were about 10 witnesses to the accident, so there's no dispute as to what happened.

Why am I still getting shafted? What's wrong with the system in this country? Why is this woman not in jail?

You see...I could really get caught up in this never-ending cycle of questions, and rage at the injustice of it all, but to what end?

***deep breath***

Know what? In the grand scheme, does any of this matter? Not really. I've been on a tight budget my entire life, so I'll make it. Most importantly, my son still has his mom, my husband still has his wife, and my sister still has her best friend forever. God brought me through another trial, and kept the flame in my heart alive. I have to believe that there's a reason for all that happens, and that I'm meant to bring hope to people through my story. When I step back and look at the big picture...

Surviving childhood sexual abuse, abandonment, drug addiction, suicide attempt, spinal cord injury...I mean really...I was able to overcome all of these things so in comparison this is nothing more than a tiny wrinkle on the map of my life.

I'll be ok. :)


Yenta Mary said...

Amen, Michele! With everything else you've been through, this -- although grossly unfair! -- is an annoyance, comparatively. Your strength, your intelligence, your spirit ... these matter far, far more -- particularly to your loved ones -- than the money ever would ....

Karen Mortensen said...

Wow. I just don't know what to say. I am sorry that you had to endure all of this but am so amazed at what you have over come. In just the short time I have known you, you have made my life better. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are one amazing woman. Thanks for your thoughts.

Pamela Bousquet said...

Know what, Michele? YOU are the kind of person I want to be when I grow up.

Usually maintaining my rose-colored glasses, I, too have found myself and my family in some circumstances where I just didn't think I'd be able to keep up the usual outlook.

NOTHING compared to your journey...then again, we each have our miseries, right? Ours are pretty much all financial - been a very tough road for many years, but - ya know....we STILL have it better than most.

I continue to give thanks every day, and now - I can give thanks for meeting a blogging friend like YOU!!!
Peace my friend,

In3Dee said...

Your sense of survival is awe inspiring. I just found your blog and have been reading some. I hope things work out better (fairer) than they appear to be right now

Leanne said...

Wow . . . you are a pretty amazing person. I just read a few of your early posts, and I am already feeling pretty bad for waking up today a little "sorry" for myself. YOU are someone who has a lot of stories to tell (and lessons to give), and I am now a follower ... so I look forward to hearing all of them! (thanks so much for stopping at my blog today. I'll be back to see you soon!)

DLC said...

Michele -

Thank-you for everything! I'm so proud to be your sister and so thankful that we are best friends forever.


Steph said...

Good luck with everything! Thanks for becoming a follower and sharing your favorite kitty. :) I came to check out your blog, but didn't really expect to see a post like that - it's good that you have a better outlook on things. I don't know if I would have that strength or how bitter I would become if I were in the same boat. So, best wishes to you and your family, and I look forward to reading more!

Karen Mortensen said...

I left an award for you. Go and see it.

Erin Wallace said...

I am here for MGM, following you now - hope to see you at Dropped Stitches!

xo Erin

Annah said...

Jesus Chris you are an inspiration. And there are people out there who dare complain about their life? Amazing. God bless you.