Creativity & Emotional Health

The world is but a canvas to the imagination.
-- Henry David Thoreau

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.
-- Pablo Picasso

Do any of us ever really lose that sense of "ooh" upon seeing a crisp, blank sheet of paper and a freshly cracked open box of crayons? At 43 years of age, I can proudly say that bright & whimsical pictures begin to form in my mind at the very sight, and even smell, of good ol' Crayolas.
I guess it's a combination of being carried back to happy moments in childhood, (remember how exciting it was to have a new coloring book?) and feelings of hopeful anticipation at the possibilities that lie ahead on the canvas of our lives.
There's a connection between emotional health and creativity, but don't worry if you're not artistically gifted. What you create is not as important as just creating. Allowing creative juices to flow relieves stress, and actually lowers blood pressure...even if it's simply doodling on a notepad.
The ways we can express ourselves creatively are endless:

Drawing
Writing
Journaling
Scrapbooking
Singing
Dancing
Sculpture
Painting
Decorating
Cooking
Knitting or crocheting
Sewing
Woodwork, Metalwork, origami, etc...

Creativity not only allows us to break out of established patterns and look at things in a different way, but it sharpens the brain, which can put off the onset of dementia in old age. The more new things you learn, the more exercise the brain gets — and the sharper it will remain. It's often recommended that seniors learn new skills and challenge themselves with new opportunities, but why wait until you're old?

For me personally, I find comfort and relaxation in upcycle crafting (basically turning "trash" into "treasure") - because while I'm creating, I feel like I'm being a little "green" too...but my all time favorite way to express my inner artist is through crochet, which I've been doing since I was in the 5th grade! My first project ever was a hideous, pepto-bismol pink scarf that was as crooked as a used car salesman. (If you're a used car salesman and reading this, sorry!! LOL)
I've mostly always just made things and given them away as gifts, and occasionally made things to order and charged for them. People have said for years that I should sell more of my crochet work, and now I'm going to give it a shot. So long as it never feels more like "work" and less like "play" I'll be happy to actually get paid a few bucks here and there for doing something I love. I've bought things a few times over the last few years from the online shops at etsy, but now I'll be a first-time seller.
Here's a link to my brand new (and mostly empty) online shop:
Chastain Creations

A GIVEAWAY -- ENDED -- WE HAVE A WINNER!

Cryssi of Cryssi's Corner Blog has won! Please contact me with your mailing info so I can send you these cute tees! :) Congratulations!





Back in December when I was Christmas shopping, I came across this adorable pair of t-shirts and bought them for my husband and myself...and because I got such a great deal on them, I grabbed a second set, and now one of my readers will get them! If you have a "better" half, you two can wear them together. If you're single, they'd make a great anniversary gift to a couple, or hey, you could always throw them into a hope chest, too!
The woman's tee is a ladies cut in size XL.
The man's tee is a regular fit, mens cut in XL.
Both tees are 100% cotton.

HOW TO WIN!

1. Follow my blog.
2. Leave a comment in the comment section.

That's it!

On Sunday, January 30, I will randomly select a winner from the entries!

Being Content While Pursuing Your Goals?

There's a sentence I've typed up, printed out, and taped to my monitor to remind myself of it daily. It reads: Anything less than daily striving to improve myself, is at best, stagnancy.

At the same time I'm very determined to live a contented life. Are these two desires at odds with one another? I don't think they have to be at all.
Even if you're not a person of faith, the apostle Paul's words carry a lot of wisdom:
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."(Philippians 4:11–12).

In researching the state of being content, I found two quotes from Benjamin Franklin which made me go "hmmm" when I read them side by side.

He said, “Content makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor.”

But he also said, “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.”

So I kept wondering how we're to strive to improve ourselves so we don't become stagnant, or worse, regress -- all while being contented...

Finally I had a moment...where it all came together in my head and made sense...

If you're content, you'll feel at peace with yourself and the world. You'll be confident with who you are, where you are in life, and where you plan to go. This leaves you FREE to pursue your dreams.
If you can't appreciate what you have right here and now, in this very moment, you probably won't be able to appreciate anything you achieve or attain if/when that happens. It makes sense, right?

Will Rogers once said, (and I LOVE this quote!) "Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there!"

What Matters Most, Matters Now!

How many times have you been in a situation or discussion where you uttered the words, "what matters most is..." ?
I know I've found myself both saying and hearing that phrase, but it seems to come up most often in tough times.

With our lips we say our loved ones are the top priorities in our lives, but consider what our actions may, at times, say:

We take them for granted.
We resent them.
We blame them.
We stay angry at them for years.
We refuse to apologize or forgive.
We run them down.
We assassinate their character.
We find fault in them, while overlooking the very same faults in ourselves.


People lose jobs every day, but more often than not, they find a new one, and if they're lucky, an even better one.
People lose money in the stock market every day, but if you ride it out, you'll most likely get it back.
You can lose your home, your car and all of your other material possessions, and sure, it stings when you lose these things- and makes you feel hopeless, but with hard work, these things can be replaced over time.
You can't replace people.

This little blog is just a reminder to myself and whomever else may have needed a reminder to hold near & dear the most precious "things" in our lives, and that's the people we love. They are what matter the most...and we all need to remember that NOW...and show them every day that they MATTER the MOST to us...and not try to hurry up and prove it when things get tough or we fear we may be losing one of the people we cherish.

BWN - Business Women's Network

I want to give a big, heartfelt THANK YOU to the women (and a few men) of the Business Women's Network of Howard County. Many of you know I grew up in Maryland, so it was a pleasure for me to travel back home and speak at a Networking/2011 Kick-off gathering for them. What a lovely group all around. I was treated wonderfully throughout the process, and even afterward I've heard from a few members. I'd like to specifically thank the president of the BWN, Karen Pitsley of Transforming Architecture, and the Director of Programs, Kim Musser, of State Farm, and Joyce Rhine of Homewood Suites Hilton in Columbia, MD.
It was so refreshing to stay in a hotel that was truly wheelchair accessible. A big GOLD STAR for them!

I love the energy that happens when you get a bunch of kind-hearted, strong, and determined women in a room together!
I know I don't live in Maryland anymore, but I hope I am invited back to visit them again!
Hugs all around!

Behavioral Goals for 2011

German playwright, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Behavior is a mirror in which every one displays his own image."
I let my brain wrap around this for a while and realized the profound truth in his statement. Our universe begins within ourselves and expands outwards. I don't mean this in a "self-centered" way at all. Rather, it's so important to remain aware of our affect on everything and everyone around us, and the responsibility that power carries.

I've printed out my behavioral goals for this year and placed them strategically to keep myself reminded. Feel free to share yours in the comments section. We can learn so much from one another.

Although I look forward to adding more, currently mine are:

1. Start each day being thankful.
2. Stop. Look. Listen.
3. Save "I'm sorry" for when it's appropriate and truly called for.
4. When I realize I'm tearing myself down, just stop.
5. Seize the day...every day.

Fill in the Blank Friday!

Picked up this cute idea from Lauren at "The Little Things We Do"

1. Winter is...my least favorite season. I feel kind of bad saying that because I know God is the Creator of all things, even yucky winter, so I should try harder to appreciate the beauty in it, but I would rather sweat like a pig in 100 degree heat than ever be cold. ***Yep...I realize pigs don't actually sweat like we humans do...but I've been using that phrase so long, it's difficult to let it go. Hahaha!

2. Summer is...my absolute favorite time of the year! I LOVE being able to go outside, even after midnight, in shorts and no shoes. I love the sounds of summer...from the frogs, to the laughter of people on the beach to the sounds of music and arcade games...living at the beach in the summertime is so awakening! I think it makes us all feel a little younger.

3. If it were summer instead of winter right now I'd...be outside, most likely. Maybe strolling along at Broadway at the Beach, or the new boardwalk...or maybe just sitting in the sunroom with the hubby and dogs.

4. My favorite thing to do in winter is...desperately pray to God to give me strength to endure the cold and not wish time away.

5. My favorite thing to do in summer is...so much! Sitting on a pier, going out for a boat ride, swimming, people watching...

6. The ideal outfit for a sunny summer day is...shorts, a light tee, Teva's.

7. The ideal outfit for a frigid winter day is...layers, UGGS... ugh.

The moment I fell in love...Part 1

Forgive me for this long blog post, but after being away so long, I feel like I'm reloaded with words; Lots and lots of words! Haha! This is a somewhat detailed story, so I will be posting it in 2 parts. If you like this part, make sure you check out Part 2 coming Sunday.

My husband and I became acquaintances via a casual business agreement back in 1996. We hit it off right away, and I could tell this was someone I'd probably remain friends with after we'd finished the work involved...but I never suspected I'd fall head over heels in love.
This was in a time when the average layperson was just tiptoeing into the realm of conducting business over the internet, and here I was, barely knowing how to even navigate beyond the playpen walls of America Online, but agreeing to help this person edit a manuscript. For a good while, I never saw him, just heard his voice when we talked on the phone. He sounded fun, made a lot of quirky jokes that had me laughing often during our calls. I remember thinking that despite him being 33, he still sounded like a "college boy" to me. Then he asked if we could exchange photos so we'd each have a face to go with the voice. I was hesitant, having heard horror stories of internet psychos. I mean, here I was, a 29 year old single mom with a disability -- could be seen as somewhat vulnerable, but against my better logic, I went with my gut. This person seemed like the most decent and truly kind person I'd ever encountered...ever!
I emailed him my photo, and he emailed me his. I think we were both in for a little shock - and I'll tell you why:
I never mentioned I was in a wheelchair, believing it was really none of his business and on the off chance he was a psycho, I didn't want him seeing me as some easy target. But now that I was sending him my photo, I must have still been in "going with my gut" mode, and forgetting that I wanted to guard myself from any "yuckiness" I wrote a little caption that read: "Not bad for a crip chick, huh?" (Please don't be offended by my use of the word "crip" -- I only use it in regards to myself, and would never use a derogatory label with anyone unless I knew they saw it as all in fun, as I do with calling myself a "crip chick.")

On the other end, he sent me a picture of a bunch of guys on the deck of a large sailboat, most of them looking as if they'd imbibed a bit too much, and strangely, he'd labeled the wrong guy as himself. That guy looked like he'd just stepped off a Harley, having ridden cross-country with his fellow Pagan's -- he was scruffy, long-haired, and had a big, bushy beard...standing there in just swim trunks and no shirt, deeply tanned, amongst a rag-tag group much like him, the image didn't mesh with the voice. The voice was Breakfast Club preppy, college educated. His writing was eloquent and impressive. So who was the hairy guy? He assured me it was him.
Alternately, he was perplexed by the "crip chick" caption, and cautiously asked me what it meant. I was caught off guard, but I had nothing to do but just spit it out and then share the how's, why's, and when's.

We continued talking, but now much more often...and not always about his manuscript, but just talking. All the while me trying to meld together the cheerful, boyish voice with the big, hairy ruffian in the photo. Before too long, I realized I just didn't care...and it was obvious, at least based on his actions, that he wasn't the least bit phased by my wheelchair.

One day, he called and said he'd be in the Washington, DC area (where I lived) for a Super Bowl Party with a bunch of his college friends, and asked if I'd like to go with him. I surprised myself by agreeing to go. What was I thinking? I was probably going to be on the news the following week, having been another internet murder victim.
I did the best proactive thing I could think of at the time, I told my sister everything I knew about him, and asked my ex-husband to babysit our son.
Then I nervously waited for the day to come...and kept getting angry at myself for being nervous; telling myself over and over that this was nothing more than a friendship, and I DID NOT WANT a relationship anyway. I was focusing on being the best mom I could be, and my independence.

*ding dong* -- he was at my door.

As soon as I opened the door, I had a CRUSH on him...big time. Not love, but for sure a heavy duty crush. He was the face that I pictured with the voice. Long hair, yes, but clean and combed, and the shaggy beard was trimmed into a neat and tidy goatee. Very preppy glasses framed soft, caring brown eyes, and he smiled the sweetest, melt a girls heart smile, and had straight, sexy teeth (I have this weird thing about teeth, but that's another blog! Haha!) The photo I'd seen of him was taken at the end of an all-guy sailing trip to Tortolla filled with partying and merriment in the complete absence of any females to make sure they bathed.

He later told me he'd had a crush on me for quite a while already, without ever having seen me, face to face. And even more amazing, once he'd found out about my disability, he'd researched it as much as he could so he could be prepared and know what to expect. That meant more to me that any chocolates, champagne, or roses a date could bring me (which is good because our first meal together was McDonalds! Haha!)

But, in closing for this Part 1, I will say we never went to the Super Bowl Party (and no, we weren't crazy hopping into the sack or anything like that.) We just talked and talked, and went for a long drive and talked some more, late into the night. Then he went down the road and got a hotel room so we could spend more time together the next day...which is the day I fell in love with him and I'll tell you about in Part 2.

Christine Frances

That was my mom's name. Most people called her "Chris." A few called her "oops" because she was clumsy. She was pretty, and fragile, and child-like. She almost never raised her voice. She loved yellow roses and daffodils, and as a grown woman she still slept with stuffed animals on her bed...a stuffed French Poodle named "Fifi La Femme" and a bear named "Peebs."

I miss my mom.

I always miss her, but lately it's been stuck in the forefront of my mind that I'm motherless. Being without a mother can be an incredibly lonely feeling. My mom's last heartbeat occurred on September 25, 2003 -- but most of her had died long before. Despite that being the case, her absence has been much more difficult than I'd ever imagined.
Death is so final to those of us still in this mortal existence. My belief is that I will see her again in another world -- but that's such a misty unknown here in the tangible realm.
When she was here, even if it were merely in a semi-existing manner, there was always hope. Hope that "this time" she would not leave...she would not abuse drugs...she would not try to kill herself...hope that maybe tomorrow she'd have a light in her eyes instead of that painful, lost child expression.

Publius Terentius Afer (195/185–159 BC) said, "While there's life, there's hope."

Not long before my mom died, I'd forbidden her from spending unsupervised time with my son. I told her she had to make a choice between us and the drugs -- and then I added that she needed to "get busy living or get busy dying." I actually said, "If you're going to continue on this path, please just get it over with instead of committing this slow, drawn out suicide that we all have to stand by and witness."

Obviously, I have some guilt over these words. I hope she knows I'm sorry for saying that.

I hope that she's with the Lord -- and I hope she can see that I've tried to do good, and to learn from her mistakes. I hope she knows she is missed, and that we all wish things could have been different. I've spent countless hours going over what I could have said or done to "fix" her. Everything is clearer in hindsight.

While there is life, there is hope. So for now, I have hope for the life I still have here, and hope that one day I will see her again.

Ms. Understood

I used to be one of those people who wouldn't hesitate to get into a heated debate on hot topic issues such as politics and religion. Two words: Not wise.
The feelings associated with those particular subjects are incredibly personal and most often go much deeper than just the surface subject. Think about it -- how many times at the end of one of those heated debates, does the other person suddenly say, "Ah yes! I see the light and you're absolutely correct. I could not have been more wrong, and now I will forever more see things your way!"

Yeah...next to never.

The sad thing about NOT voicing ones thoughts but merely skimming over them with a generalized statement such as, "I'm conservative" makes it all too easy for folks to lump you into a category that you more than likely don't fit into. Rarely is anything so black or white regarding how one feels about political issues, or belief in a higher being, etc...

Am I treading delicately enough here? I sure hope so.

I've been called a "right winger" by some on the left, and "too liberal" by some on the right. I believe in fiscal conservatism and abhor big government, which is unique amongst the disabled due to how many of them cannot or choose not to work, thus relying heavily on government financial support. In my opinion, the government is balancing so precariously that I would not bet my security on them alone, but that's me. Alternately, I firmly believe that gay people should be allowed to marry.
When I was a little girl, we used to make a yearly trip from the Washington, DC area down to Morehead City, NC for a family reunion on my mom's side. The first person I could not wait to see was one of my mom's cousins because she would play better than all the other grown-ups. She'd run, play ball, spin you around until you came close to throwing up, then turn you upside down pretending she was going to drop you on the head! She taught me how to shoot spitballs, which was about the most awesome thing ever! To a passerby, she looked like a guy, but she's not. She's a lesbian who is manly in appearance and mannerisms. Based on my own experience with her, I could not think of many people who would have been a better parent, but considering she was at an age to start a family in the 70's and 80's (in the south, no less) she never really had much of a chance at that going over well.
My hubby and I recently got into a debate over this, and I ended up saying how I believe marriage is between the two people and God (my belief) so that would make it a "church" thing, and there's the separation of Church & State, so the government should have no say in gay people marrying. I was quickly shot down with a bunch of details, like legal issues, insurance, etc... totally overwhelming, and reminded me why I stopped having those discussions in the first place.

Anyway, I said all of that to say this: Don't lump people into categories without knowing where they stand on issues.
All conservatives are not capitalist pigs, bigots and/or racists.
All liberals are not communist, immoral, or America-haters.

We're all so multi-faceted, and that's what makes this a beautiful country!
Have you ever seen this little picture? I love it.